Why I'm doing this...

For a long time I struggled with severe depression - as a child and well into my 30's. The only thing that really helped me feel normal was a beautiful breathing technique I had learnt when I was 16; it was the first time in my life I really understood what Peace meant. Later on in my life I struggled with University and did everything last minute to avoid feeling anxious, depressed or overwhelmed. I couldn't concentrate but was very passionate about what I was studying so remembered a lot and was evidently smart enough to bullshit my way into a degree. It was at this time I went deeper into my breath work (The SKY Technique) and discovered other alternative healing practices such as Reiki, Brandon bays Journey Process, which I did with her in person, Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now, Carolyn Myss' Sacred Contracts, Deepak Chopra's Synchro-Destiny, Shakti Gaiwan's Visualisations, Neale Donald Walsh Conversations with God, Rumi's Book of Love. This was between 2004 and 2007. As my wellness increased I started to do better and even got on the Deans merit list and won an award to travel to the East. I recall people asking me for help with their own mental health issues but at this point I was just learning all of this so it was not something I ever considered doing professionally.

However, when I entered into the work force I found out I just couldn't manage things - my self, romantic relationships, my family relationships, finances and more. In fact, unknowingly I think I would try self medicate with people, places and things (thankfully I avoided substances - although in saying this, dysfunctional relationships can be just as damaging). I changed jobs a lot desperately trying to find fulfilment. But my attempts at managing my mind and emotions through various things outside myself never lasted long and I would get very very depressed again. I was not consistent in my wellness practices either as I was so busy in high demand jobs. Until I got very sick - I developed severe anxiety, burnout and sickness during various jobs. I remember once not being able to get out of bed - my neck and shoulders had frozen up. On another occasion, I developed such insanely painful migraines I had to stay under my blankets for days and could barely move, I began developing ulcers - my body was responding physically to all the stress I was under. I was great at what I did until I wasn't.

Apart from the physical sickness, I was just not happy and lacked a sense of purpose. I was really just doing the work for money and couldn't really see a future in it. In fact a large part of me was doing it to please others like family, or because I thought it was the right thing to do, not because I truly loved what I was doing. But I was too busy pleasing others, seeking validation and trying to prove others wrong about me that the thought of stopping and figuring out what my true passion, desires and purpose was, was so far fetched. Until I got really sick again and I could no longer work.

When I turned 34 a physician finally sent me for some blood tests and found out that I had severe nutritional deficiencies that were causing a lot of the anxiety, depression and stress I felt. I recall the nurse telling me how shocked they were that I was still walking because of how low these levels were - my body was not able to absorb these nutrients naturally. It was at this time I realised how powerful my wellness practices had been because though I was not doing them very consistently they did stop me from totally crashing. As I started taking supplements orally and intravenously and practicing certain styles and methods of yoga, breath work and meditation, my body and mind started to come back to its health. I must say it was also the genuine care my physician and her nurse showed me that played a huge part in my recovery too. Love really does heal x

Soon my memory improved drastically and I recall devouring book after book, which I had not been able to  do in years! I was so excited and read as many Harry Potter books and trashy chick-flick-type novels as I could! I started to enjoy my mind again and its capabilities. Creativity started coming back in too! The brain fog, anxiety had gone as well. I eventually left my job and went to study Yoga in India - something I had been practicing on and off for 20 years - I had never considered it until someone suggested it, which usually happens when something is so much a part of you and staring right at you in the face. I became a freelance Yoga, breath work, and Meditation teacher and found myself loving being able to make a difference to people especially those in the corporate world who I could so relate to; the response from them - in person as well as online - was phenomenal!

During this time I had been diagnosed with ADHD too, and found that this revelation made my life make so much sense. I realised a huge part of being well was not only becoming physically healthy but that I also needed mindset and self management techniques that included emotional, financial, environmental, social, family and relationship health and wellness. I had so much in my past too that I needed to work through and let go of. Something that I had been working on through my practices but I really needed more. I began actively working 12 step programs such as Coda and Al-anon, which began transforming me.

Integrating this new awareness of my neurodivergent mind into my memory of understanding of my past was so healing for me and helped to reform my identity, my self acceptance, my way of living even - I found new strategies and processes with which to manage my life that were unique to me but which worked! I have since been able to share what I know and have learnt with others. I went on to study life coaching, which I have now integrated into my mocktail of life experiences - a beautiful process with which to take people into their own zones of revelations, genius and transformation.

What started as a quest to manage my own health and well-being has turned into a a deep understanding of what I truly means to be well. I have done countless wellness based workshops and courses. I have transformed from an insecure and severely depressed young child and teenager and woman who was struggling to survive in her 20's, to someone who really knows my worth and experiences my self in the most positive way.  I have so many stories to tell but this is one I'd like to share for now. I hope to help and support people to manage their thoughts, their emotions and their lives. I know what it feels like to not have anyone there for you or to be alone and feel like no one understands your struggle. So this is my way of giving back. For me it is a dream to be able to earn a living doing what I love and and to help others to achieve their dreams too and overcome their struggles... this journey of life becomes so exciting even though hard at times - and let me tell you the greatest lesson I've learnt - we were not meant to suffer!